Music is colorful

i am swept up by music.

i’m enchanted by the desire to just lay, and listen, and let my mind wander. it feels like a current in my body that tugs me to converge into this state. i keep seeking this, and it has felt stronger recently.

it feels vulnerable to put words to these thoughts. i don’t know of anything else that makes me feel, attunes me, submits me, to the world, so wholly.

guiltily, i wish to saturate in this state. of flooding, of letting my body follow the emotions that it feels.

but this is larger than me. it must be deeply human, because it is personal and universal and seems beyond my control.

music is a gift. it instantly washes over my world, to paint it in a light that leaves me in awe. i can’t help but follow it, naively, once again, and again, and soak in its world.

i think it teleports me too. sometimes i miss particular moments like █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████.

music resurfaces the particular capture of that world. the being in that moment. that by circumstance i was living some way, and the beauty of life at that instance, because it is trapped in its time and belongs in that moment of time, is there. i can revisit entirely that with music, teleporting to that slice of time, and it is encompassing. it is a pure surrender. i accept those slices of time for what they are, and let myself breathe into the experience again.

i am living but it’s more colorful. time folds into itself. pigments blend between the past and present. it’s bleeding into my life, seeping into everything, and takes me on the journey it goes. i follow.

it brings me to remember the world humanly, in ways that are only quite honest and particular. it cuts through everything.

i feel and try to carry these feelings into what i see and touch. i wish to let them manifest into my words, into my life.

it is deeply personal and deeply beyond me. so much color.